The Heavy Hearts Brigade
by ShatteredLyre
Summary: Both promised to transcend any hardships that they would meet. Until he told her she didn't know what it was like to love someone who didn't even think of loving you back. She smiled bitterly and told him she knew exactly how it felt. And then she left.
1. year one

**a quick note: **I wrote this as a break from the usual love/hate relationship that we RenPiri-shippers seem to associate them with so much. So i stepped back and thought, really thought how they would realistically react to and resolve the fact that Ren came from a noble family and she didn't, the fact that he was married to Jeanne, the fact that he had a son, the fact that Pirika had a boyfriend. And thus this story was born. Also, there are a few hints of an initial one-sided **HoroRen**. but keep in mind that this was, is, and always will be a **RenPiri**. You'll see what I mean.

* * *

**PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LISTEN TO THE SONG _"YOUR EX-LOVER IS DEAD"_ BY STARS ON REPEAT WHILE READING THIS: **w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 4 v 8 F J h Q - t e E** (just remove the spaces. or just look it up). It will enhance the story like no other. I swear/promise/etc.**

* * *

**dedicated**: of course, to my readers, and especially to my regular reviewers. but first and foremost, to **sOrbetes**, who is one of the sweetest, nicest, most dedicated RenPiri supporters ever. This is for you, dear!

* * *

**o****ne. (september)  
**

It hurt. He was still standing outside his best friend's (though he would never admit to anyone he actually considered other people to be his _friends_) house. And it still hurt. How he would wave, shout out if he could just have a couple more minutes, and sling his arm over Ren's shoulders like nothing had changed between them. Well, to Horohoro nothing had changed of course. He couldn't even remember anything from that night. But Ren could. Which is why he would still march on, Tao pride and all, as he always did. Regardless of the pain.

They'd walk to school, the blue haired boy chattering on aimlessly about something or other and Ren would pretend to not give two shits about whatever he was saying, forcing himself to whack his friend upside the head at regular intervals to keep up appearances that they were still the same: best friends since Ren stole Horohoro's rattle from his crib. But Ren could give two shits. Hell, that's why he—

_Adored is too girly a word_.

They would arrive at the Funbari Hill High School's gates and they'd part ways, Horohoro grinning and yelling at Ren to meet by the tree for lunch, where they, along with the rest of Yoh's gang ate every day. He reminded him everyday. Ren would miss those little constancies he insisted on once Horohoro found out what had happened a month ago. It was inevitable he'd hear the truth, rumors spread like those fires Hao was always so keen on starting. FHHS wasn't a big school and rarely anything interesting happened. The talk of the hallways for the past three months was that Professor Ryu, totally engrossed with reading the script of his latest play, had accidentally walked into the girl's bathroom. And neither the girls nor the flamboyantly out Ryu had really cared either way.

Today, Horohoro would accompany his reminder with a punch to the arm. Ren could just tell he would from the bounce in his step. And then the Ainu boy would sprint to the other side of campus to make it to his first period Trigonometry class while Ren would shuffle, counting his steps as always, to his locker.

They'd eat lunch together, Horohoro in the center of the group with some crazy story he probably made up as he went along or a lame joke he had practiced on Ren on the way to school. It didn't really matter what he was saying. The way Horohoro would look back at Ren and smile as if seeking his approval or just to see his reaction made Ren feel wanted. Like he was needed there and not some antisocial, brooding loner that needed a group to hang out with.

_Wanted_.

It's been a month since he's felt that way.

Ren and Horohoro would go to the same physics class, the former trying not to look at the latter too much, too long. And then they'd part, leaving Ren to whittle away on the field during lacrosse practice without him. He was deteriorating more and more every day, a young man in an animated corpse.

But for now, he would try to find a way just to make the journey to school. Horohoro came out of the house, half-stumbling down the front steps. Ren turned away and began walking.

During lunch, Horohoro seized the wrist of a younger girl and yanked her in front of the group. He told them that this was Pirika, his younger sister who had moved down from Hokkaido to join him. She was a year younger than all of them. Ren hesitatingly admitted to himself that she wasn't ugly. She nervously raised her hand and said hi, her voice shaking and her eyes always flitting back to Ren every couple of seconds. Her eyes were red and the skin around them was rubbed raw as if she had been crying recently.

He turned away and resumed eating his lunch in silence.

* * *

**two. (october)  
**

Horohoro had breathlessly told him, face flushed and his voice stuttering. He was in _love_. Or so he proclaimed at least. Totally, irrevocably in _love_. That menacing four letter word Ren had never spoke out loud in his lifetime and had never heard his best friend say before. So he had blinked in confusion before he registered what he had been whispering animatedly for the last fifteen minutes. On the brighter side, Horohoro was saying he was in love for the first time to Ren. On the shittier side, Ren wasn't the object of the Ainu boy's affections.

_Fuck this._

Ren had merely scowled and attempted bursting Horohoro's bubble. He asked who the girl was.

_Always, always a _girl.

Horohoro grinned and began blushing (_so cliché!_). It was the new girl in their English class who had just transferred from Izumo. Pink hair, sad eyes, petite frame, delicate voice.

Ren absolutely hated her already.

Horohoro went on about how their lockers were next to each other, how he'd get Yoh to hook them up. Maybe he'd ask her to the next dance.

Ren had never seen them talk before.

The blue haired boy admitted hesitantly that they had never talked. For all they knew, she didn't even know he existed. Then the worst thing possible happened: Horohoro asked Ren for his help in getting the girl.

If Ren was a better friend, he'd voice his and Joco's concerns over her. How he was setting himself up for heart ache. How he probably only liked her because she was so similar to his former love. Damuko. The quiet, fragile beauty both new girl and old girl had that Ren would never have. The quiet, fragile beauty Horohoro adored so much.

_Adored._

But Ren wasn't in the mood to be a better friend. He wanted others to feel pain. He wanted Horohoro to feel how much hurt Ren was feeling. So he kept silent and watched and waited for things to fall apart.

Ren had never seen her talk before.

_It would never work out between them._

The last period of the day, Ren discovered, he shared with Pirika as she transferred into his class. He stared at her as she asked, her head tilted upwards slightly out of confidence, if they could be lab partners. As they sat next to each other at their two person table, learning about valence electrons or unstable isotopes or something Ren wasn't paying attention to, he thought about what he would have said if their chemistry teacher hadn't answered for him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that many boys at FHHS found her quite pretty, further supported when, after class, many male eyes were trained on her as she and Ren walked down the hallway.

He noticed that she had been crying again. But he didn't ask why.

* * *

**three. (november)  
**

Ren had woken up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night from the dream he had been trying to avoid for the past few months. He had been rather successful up until then. He flung the shower door open and stood there for nearly an hour, letting the cold water beat down upon him as his disgust with himself built. His nails scratched at the ceramic shower walls, remembering how his nails had scratched along the other boy's skin. He shook his head as he punched the tiles and gritted his teeth. He hated what he did, he hated his weakness, he hated himself.

The Tao heir dried himself off and didn't go back to sleep. Instead he let himself remember that night, the clumsy initial fumbling, the smell of alcohol heavy in the air, the animalistic demands, the awkward, mumbled excuses the morning after.

Ren arrived at school the next day, eyes heavy from sleep deprivation. Horohoro ran down the hallway, winking and saying that it was time for phase one of their plan to get the girl. Ren waited for the Ainu boy to disappear around the corner before slamming his forehead against the cold metal of his locker and staying in that exact position for five minutes.

He was late to class.

She insisted on sitting next to him every lunch, her leg always reflexively kicking him in the shin whenever she laughed. He didn't know what she always found so funny considering he barely opened his mouth to talk nowadays. Horohoro, at the center of course, watched the two, pride and uncertainty mingled on his face.

Ren noticed that Pirika had begun pulling him away, both physically and emotionally, from the axis of the group, the center. Away from her brother. Irritated and resentful at first, he began to wonder if he was letting her do it to him. As if he wanted to be more distant from Horohoro to dull whatever hole that that night had left in him.

_Perhaps_.

* * *

**four. (december)  
**

He wanted to know why Horohoro looked like he could explode from an overload on happiness when Ren had monotonously announced, mid-bite into his sandwich, that he had asked Pirika out. He would've expected his best friend to flip a bitch that his baby sister had a boyfriend. An _older_ boyfriend. That had known her for barely a month.

He finally asked her why she kept crying. But, admittedly, she was crying not even a once a week recently.

She responded that her boyfriend back in Hokkaido had unceremoniously and embarrassingly dumped her literally the day before she moved down to Tokyo. Away from all of her friends. A place where she knew only one person. Ren responded that any boy who dumped her was a complete fool.

He said that only because he felt that it was his new duty as her boyfriend to say it.

In truth, Ren was just as bad. He asked her out because one, she looked like a pathetic, wretched mess every time she cried and he knew that she was interested in him to some extent. So why not ask her out and get her to stop crying?

Two, he knew that Horohoro wanted them to get together to get her mind off of her ex.

Three, he would be able to spend even more time with Horohoro.

Four, maybe, just maybe, he could learn to be content with her. To settle for her when he knew that it was impossible to get the Ainu boy to be by his side. Mind you, he didn't have to be happy. Merely content was fine by him. She would become a substitute for something he couldn't have.

Horohoro was still doggedly perusing English class girl. He happily reported that she had looked at him momentarily. When half-heartedly asked for more details by Ren, Horohoro had scratched the back of his head while elaborating that it was because he had asked to borrow a pencil from her.

Ren already knew that this whole thing would shudder and die before it even took off. Surprisingly, he didn't feel any satisfaction from watching the impending disaster.

* * *

**five. (january)  
**

She notices that he is even more distant from her. If that is even possible. She knows that both of them aren't right for each other at this point in time. But she clings onto it even harder because of it.

* * *

**six. (february)  
**

Ren and Pirika reach an unspoken agreement and let their relationship fizzle out slowly and quietly. Ren was met with a vigorous shaking of the head when he asked if there were any hard feelings between them. They go back to being friends. Or whatever the hell they were before. Horohoro threatens to kick his ass before Pirika rolls her eyes and tells him that it's fine. That it was mutual and wasn't going anywhere.

Ren found himself semi-enjoying the Ainu girl's company. Which was quite a big deal because the only other person whose company he enjoys was Horohoro's. She shrugged things off that would otherwise bother most other girls, a quality that Ren had learned to appreciate _after_ their break up. The only thing that was off putting was that he noticed her reddened nose and eyes again soon after the death of their relationship. He actually felt guilty for once and treated her less coldly than he did with the rest of Yoh' group.

Gradually, Horohoro forgave Ren for whatever offense he had perceived Ren committing and everything went back to normal.

_Normal as things could get after that night, of course_.

She still forced him to carry her things for her of course. Just because he wasn't her boyfriend didn't mean he stopped being her pack mule. If he were his old self, he would've glared at her and walked away. But he wasn't.

_Naturally_.

Ren didn't mind of course. She wasn't gratingly annoying like every other member of the female species that attended FHHS and he still frequented the Usui household as much as he did when they were going out. The painful part was that he was forced to endure listening to Horohoro endlessly come up with ineffective plan after ineffective plan for Operation: English Class Girl.

He would only be saved when Pirika noisily entered the room with a question about homework or some glasses of water for the two boys. He wondered why her voice sounded deliberately louder as if she was forcing Horohoro to stop talking and pay attention to her. Or why she needed help when, after reading the question she needed assistance on, he knew she was perfectly capable of answering it on her own. Or when her steps outside the room sounded rushed before she burst in, the water in the cups sloshing dangerously, herself out of breath as she offered them to the two boys.

She notices for the first time the way Ren would keep his eyes on Horohoro a second longer than he did with anyone else who talked to him. The way he would look after her brother had finished talking about some girl at school. The way Ren would clench his fists as he rigidly sat still next to Horohoro in an attempt at self-control. And she finds it all quite interesting.

* * *

**seven. (march)  
**

He was carrying her backpack across the quad to the field where she had cheerleading practice as she had requested. He sat down by himself and watched the memorized and mechanical like movements of the skinny girls on the other side of the fence before he took out her phone from the front pocket of the bag as she had asked.

After pulling out the hot pink plastic device, an envelope fell out onto the ground. Upon closer examination, it was a letter wrapped around a picture from a disposable camera. His chest constricted painfully and he found it rather odd that it suddenly became hard to breathe as he read it. It was a letter Horohoro had written to her last year describing the enclosed picture.

He had skimmed over the general description of his friends, how Yoh and Anna (the carefree looking boy and the angry looking blond on the left side of the picture, Pirika) had gotten engaged in an arranged marriage.

How Manta (short boy with the big eyes) had gotten a scholarship already to some school in the States.

How Joco (front and center! Big hair, you can't miss him!) had transferred to their school that year and already had become notorious for his terrible puns.

How Lyserg and Jeanne (the only non-Asians in the picture…) were foreign exchange students from Europe.

How Ren became his best friend (the really fierce and serious looking kid…I seriously really _love_ this guy a lot, you don't even understand how much!)

_Love_.

Ren wrapped the letter around the picture with the cheap glossy finish.

_A lot._

He creased the fold sharply in between his finger nails before placing it back in her bag.

_Seriously really._

Her phone vibrated as it received a text message. He opened it.

_Don't even understand._

It was from Horohoro asking her where she was and what dinner was going to be tonight. It ended with a less than sign and the number three.

_How much_.

He deleted it, the virtual emoticon heart and the pixilated picture id of his best friend disappearing off the screen as her phone happily announced that the message had been moved to the trash.

He sat there in a daze, the heavy backpack on his lap cutting off circulation to his legs. He knew he had to convince himself that Horohoro didn't love him in the way he wanted him to. In the way Ren l—ed him.

He couldn't bring himself to fill in the three other letters in his head.

As soon as Pirika sees his face after she exits the locker rooms, she knows he had seen the letter. She can barely keep her heart from breaking as she sees the pain he didn't even know he was feeling that he was trying to conceal.

* * *

**eight. (april)  
**

Ren skipped as many days of school that he could and still be able to graduate. Pirika visited him at his house often after classes were let out, telling him news of their friends.

Anna and Yoh were getting married in a few months.

The last chemistry test was shit.

She had gotten a job at the ice cream parlor.

The lacrosse team was losing almost every game without him.

Horohoro missed him.

_He missed…_

Pirika bit down on her tongue after the last statement when she realized what she had said. The hurt flickered across his face before he went back to drinking the soup she had brought for him.

He told her that she didn't understand how it was to love a person who was fawning over someone else. When that someone else was totally oblivious to your loved one's affections. How it was to love that person without them even thinking of loving you back.

She smiled bitterly as she chewed through the rubbery chicken alfredo she had bought for herself and told him that she knew exactly how it felt. She threw it away, gathered up her things and left without saying anything else.

Ren closed his eyes, slightly surprised that she still wasn't over her ex back in Hokkaido, and willed himself to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**nine. (may)  
**

The school's administration had notified his parents and thus Ren was forced to go to every class before graduation.

He had been away for so long that he had forgotten his locker combination. He went to class late and without his books. He didn't bring enough money to buy lunch. He got a note saying that he never turned in his measurements for his graduation gown and would thus have to pay a special fee. His teachers looked at him haughtily as the truant who had skipped their classes for no apparent reason. His friends walked on eggshells around him, not quite sure why he was gone for so long without telling any of them.

And then he saw Horohoro and the girl holding hands and smiling at each other.

He could've thrown up. Rather, he would've if not for a hand that roughly spun him around to face the hand's owner. Pirika looked up at him, eyes blazing, hands on her hips. He wasn't sure what she was going to yell at him. Perhaps it was because he was still being a total wimp over the whole thing. Perhaps it was to tell him to man up. Perhaps she finally was going to unleash her pent up anger and frustration over their weak excuse of a relationship.

Instead she paused before yelling at him that she had to do all the lab work for chemistry by herself the past month and a half.

He was tired. She was tired. He smirked for the first time this school year. She smiled broadly before grabbing his hand and leading him to the rest of the group.

After class Pirika insisted on going over to his house to chat over coffee as she had put it. Instead they ate cold leftover pizza in his living room while watching TV.

He suddenly clicked off the television set and sat in silence. Pirika waited patiently for him to start speaking.

He didn't even preface it.

He recounted rather unfeelingly that night many months ago over the summer. He tried his best to appear aloof and apathetic, perhaps trying to act like it was a bother to tell her what had happened.

He told her how the air conditioning in the Tao household had broken down and his parents were out on business, leaving him alone to steam to death by himself. Horohoro had staggered up to the front door, knocking wildly and shouting out his name. Ren had let him inside and as he entered the house, Horohoro shoved a large bottle of vodka at him before stumbling over a chair. It had been the eighth anniversary of Damuko's death on that balmy August evening and Horohoro, still ridden with eight-year old guilt, was looking for a way to get totally plastered so he wouldn't have to think about it.

The two had sat down on the sofa, passing the glass bottle back and forth as they took turns. They invented drinking games by the hour, each one crazier and more dangerous than the last. Horohoro would go from laughing his ass off to sobbing his eyes out in a turnaround time of about thirty seconds. Horohoro was completely fucked up by the time the bottle was finished. Someone could've gotten drunk just by smelling the poor boy's breath. He thought that Ren was drunk too.

But the Tao boy could hold his alcohol thanks to years of Jun's lessons and techniques, thanks to how she had stolen countless bottles of fine hard liquor from their parents for her and Ren to practice with. Ren, already having to suppress these scary, foreign feelings for his best friend he had had for all of junior year, didn't stand a chance when Horohoro leaned over and sloppily kissed him. He was pretty sure the Ainu boy was too out of it to tell the difference between him and the deceased Damuko. But he didn't care. He pretended to be just as inebriated as the drunken, beautiful boy across from him.

He pulled off Horohoro's bandanna and watched his best friend's hair fall the same way he had admired it when they would change in the locker rooms after PE. But back then he hadn't known he was admiring it. He hadn't known why watching this simple act of Horohoro removing the cloth band from his head had made Ren's chest go tight, would make his heart beat a tiny bit faster. He had written it off as a post workout rush.

Ren hesitated before relaying the more graphic part of the story, considering that he was telling Horohoro's sister. But Pirika remained poker faced and nodded as if to tell him to continue.

When they had finished, they collapsed on each other, sweating and smelling of cheap vodka. Horohoro immediately passed out and was sleeping peacefully. Ren looked at him, the cold reality that he had just screwed his best friend beginning to disperse the warm post coital high. Not just his best friend. His _male_ best friend. Ren closed his eyes as he came to terms that he just had the type of sex everyone ridiculed. The kind that everyone snickered about and flung around as an insult to each other. How scandalized their families, their teachers, their classmates would be. How _disgusted_.

Ren had been disgusted with himself. He was sick to his stomach. He had given into his urges in a moment of sheer weakness. He had no self-control. He had taken advantage of his clearly drunk friend.

Exhausted, he half assed an attempt at pulling on Horohoro's clothes and moved him to the floor.

Although he hated himself at the moment, he realized that he was in—

Ren stopped talking. Pirika raised an eyebrow as minutes dragged by and he still was quiet. She pressed him, asking what he realized he was in.

He turned to her, not wanting to answer the question. She gave a curt nod and he continued in his story.

The next morning Horohoro woke up, his head clouded by one bitch of a hangover. How convenient, how perfect that he didn't remember anything at all from the previous night. Ren kept his eyes on the ground the entire time, unable to bear looking at him directly. Horohoro asked why he felt sore, why his clothes were so messed up, why it was hard to walk, why everything smelled like alcohol and sweat.

Ren mumbled out some excuse that most likely didn't make any sense before handing Horohoro all of his belongings and effectively shoving him out of his house.

The worst part was that Horohoro believed Ren when he said he didn't remember what happened.

So they went back to how they were before, Horohoro seriously thinking nothing had changed, Ren pretending nothing had changed. To Horohoro, it was just a drunken night that he and Ren had both had, both probably just drinking peacefully and quietly before passing out. It was just one evening missing from their eighteen years of best friendship. One evening that probably didn't even matter.

But it did to Ren.

They sat in silence. He had been able to keep his voice emotionless during the entire story.

She finally laughed, mostly because he had told such a passionate and emotional story in an absolute monotone voice. He turned to her, an eyebrow raised. She wiped at her eyes that had been tearing up, partly because the story was so emotionally exhausting partly because she had been laughing so hard. She apologized and smiled, telling him to look at the pair of them. How messed up both he and she were. She told him that they should have these cathartic moments more often, perhaps every month or so. They could make it into a club and everything. She would call it the Heavy Hearts Brigade, here to listen to your problems with a smile!

He was surprised she knew the word cathartic

She cleared her throat and sat there, smiling with the same foolish smile her brother had.

He apologized. She was confused and asked what for. He didn't really know what to say other than everything: breaking up with her before even giving her a chance, leading her on, treating her like she was a less than adequate replacement for her brother—

She waved her hand dismissively as if to say that was old news.

He asked if she was still upset over her ex in Hokkaido. She looked at him funny, her brows furrowed, not quite sure what he was talking about. He crossed his legs onto the couch as he brought up their little encounter last month. How she knew how he felt.

She turned a lovely shade of pink as her eyebrows raised in comprehension. Pirika sat on top of her hands, telling him that though she was talking about an ex, it wasn't that one.

Now it was Ren's turn to be confused. Exactly how many boyfriends has this girl had?

She held up two of her fingers and waved them in his face before standing up and leaving. But this time she left with a smile.

* * *

**ten. (june)  
**

They graduated finally. Ren immediately took out his keys and intended on driving home as quick as he could to avoid any invitations to graduation parties.

_Can't they get over high school and move on with their lives?_

Pirika had insisted on going with him, knowing that she would be the only one he'd say yes to.

He was happy that he was going to a university in America. Away from everyone to make a fresh start. Maybe when he had had enough time to recover from whatever funk he had sunk into for all of senior year, then he could come back to Japan to see everyone.

Pirika leaned forward, bouncing up and down in the passenger's seat, to turn on the radio, a huge smile evident on her face. He had forgotten. There was the matter of Pirika.

_Of course._

Plain and simple: he wanted to be with her. He wasn't going to let four letters scare him anymore. He had grown and learned, in the span of a few months to lo—

He stopped. His parents were waiting in front of the house for him. His mother and father never ventured outside the Tao residence except by chauffeured car.

Pirika quietly told him that she'd wait while he talked to his parents.

* * *

**eleven. (july)  
**

She simply stood there. He had expected her to yell, to swear at him, to cry, to break down, at least frown. Some sort of reaction. Instead, she remained still, her face expressionless as if someone had jabbed her with a syringe and sucked her soul out of her.

He set his mouth into a straight line, not wanting to show her even more weakness. He asked how she felt.

She nodded and said she was fine with it. That they could still be friends. But she said not to call her until she called him.

He found the last part odd, considering she had just said she was fine.

She stuttered out an excuse and walked away from the park bench they had been sitting on. He looked up at the sky before closing his eyes.

In hindsight, he probably should've found a better way to break the news to her. He was just as stunned when his father happily announced he had some wonderful news for him. Ren immediately felt uneasy since the last time his family had some "wonderful news," it had ended with Ren starting what he was sure to be illegal physical training.

The same day he had graduated, the same day he was supposed to be packing for college life in America, they told him he wouldn't be pursuing a higher education.

Instead, he was going to get married.

He stood there, dumbstruck at the news. For once in his life, he was caught completely off guard. For once, he didn't know what to say.

His parents had arranged a marriage for him, right behind his back. Apparently, the entire process had started nearly two years ago. He'd wed her to keep the bloodline strong, to keep the nobility running through future Tao generations. She was of an influential family. Yes, sure, she was from a completely different country, but what does it matter. The only thing that should matter to him was to preserve their honor. It wouldn't be that bad. Many of Ren's relatives and family friends had had arranged marriages. Just look at Anna and Yoh, they're in an arranged marriage.

_But they had gotten to know each other._ _They _love _each other_.

He could barely spit out the obvious question they had neglected to answer: Who was his bride-to-be?

His mother smiled as his father answered. As a matter of fact, Ren already knows her. Ren didn't want to get his hopes up, even just a bit. What were the chances of Pirika being the girl? She didn't even fit the descrip—

He was to marry Jeanne D'Fer of France.

As in Jeanne who had been a foreign exchange student at FHHS. As in Jeanne who had been in his circle of friends. As in Jeanne who he had eaten lunch with every day for the last two years.

She had known ever since she stepped off of that plane and onto Japanese soil. She had known when she had seen him. She had known as she watched him walk across the stage to receive his diploma.

She was instructed to not tell him of the engagement. She had joined the foreign exchange program once their families had found out it would be at Ren's school. How perfect. She could observe her future husband, get to know him, become friends with him. Funny how they didn't consider how he would never want to look at any of them ever again once he found out the truth.

_It would never work out between us._

_

* * *

_**twelve. (august)  
**

He couldn't believe he was giving up college for _this_. Jeanne's adopted father was supposed to take him under his wing and show him the ropes in the business. Marco was an influential businessman; he was the founding CEO of X-LAWS, the biggest weapons and military vehicle manufacturing company in the world.

Apparently, Ren was supposed to take over for Marco one day. But for now, Ren was stuck being labeled as Marco's golden boy by the other resentful board members who had wanted Marco's position for themselves. So he was dictated by the board members to run errands for them.

Back in high school, Ren was actually popular for those first three years. He had had girls crawling all over him. And since he was one of _those_ cocky, smart ass popular kids, he smirked at them and brushed every single female advance. He got decent grades, everyone thought he was cool, he was on the varsity lacrosse team ever since his freshman year, captain of the varsity lacrosse team ever since his sophomore year. Hell, he was nominated to homecoming court, losing the kingship to Yoh by a few votes. He was chosen by his fellow students to be "Most Likely to Become a Professional Athlete." So many people had told him that he would be successful in college.

Instead, he was doing coffee runs at six in the morning and making endless photocopies for the resentful higher ups.

He never asked for this. All he ever wanted after high school was to be left alone so he could peacefully go to college, graduate with a degree, and maybe start his own business or go into the family business. He wanted to be able to relax a little before starting his career. He had hoped that he would be married after he had graduated to a young woman that was as strong and bold as he was.

Instead, he was engaged to a wisp of a girl who he really hadn't talked to at all and had found to be rather quiet and weak.

Instead, he was relegated to being an office bitch for a year before he would share ownership of one of the world's largest and most powerful companies.

_I never asked for_ any _of this_.

* * *

**A/N**: and thus ends the first year of Ren and Pirika's relationship/friendship/wtfship. as you noticed there isn't any actual **dialogue** in this. i thought it would be interesting to do a complete story without any dialogue whatsoever since i feel that many of my stories rely on it. let's see how i do once we take that dialogue away, shall we? never fear, this is a **RenPiri** fiction. And I'm a sucker for happy endings.

First off, I already knew that Ren was a conflicted character and I wanted to write him in a personal way. Second, though I do not endorse HoroRen, I always thought that the character dynamic and relationship would be interesting to explore. And finally, I knew that both Ren and Pirika would be capable of feeling this much. So yes, I hope you enjoyed this. There will be several chapters to come. (I'm thinking of five, total. So five years?) I would **love** to hear from you guys! So leave a review? Thank you very much and happy days to you all.


	2. year two

**PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LISTEN TO THE SONG _"YOUR EX-LOVER IS DEAD"_ BY STARS ON REPEAT WHILE READING THIS: **w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 4 v 8 F J h Q - t e E** (just remove the spaces. or just look it up). It will enhance the story like no other. I swear/promise/etc.**

**

* * *

**

always dedicated to sOrbetes =)

* * *

**thirteen.** **(september)**

Ren had been in Hong Kong to accompany Marco for a huge deal negotiation when he received the email from her. She gave him an update of everything that had been going on back home.

_Home…where is that again?_

She told him of how she and Jeanne were starting their senior year at FHHS. How she had tried to her very best to become friends with his fiancée. Maybe, after the two of them got married, Pirika could visit both of them once in a while since she had gotten rather close with Jeanne. The French girl was in Pirika's biology class. They were lab partners, just as how Pirika and Ren had been the year before.

She rambled on, the text floating like a welcoming sea of virtual letters on the screen of his phone. She talked of how she expected him to come back in time for their senior prom so that Jeanne wouldn't be dateless, how the first big lacrosse game was coming up, how she had been selected as captain of the cheerleading team. She sounded forced and strained throughout the whole email.

He knew if she had been telling him all of this face to face, she would've been close to tears.

She signed it with a Much love, Pirika.

He wondered how many times she had deleted and retyped the _Much love_ part before sending it.

She asked in the hopeful little postscript if he would like to come and visit, to just hang out if he was around Tokyo.

He was still in Hong Kong. His phone received a deluge of daily text messages.

* * *

**fourteen. (october)**

She sent another invitation to come visit. But he was in Korea. She began texting him once a day.

* * *

**fifteen. (november)  
**

Her message arrived in his inbox, asking again if they could spend time together. But he was in Russia. Her text messages arrived once a week.

* * *

**sixteen. (december)**

His phone bleeped out a notification as he received her email. But he was in China. She texted him once to wish him a merry Christmas, obvious that she sent it only as an afterthought. He checked again.

It actually had been just a mass text.

* * *

**seventeen.** **(january)**

Suddenly, he stopped hearing from her altogether.

* * *

**eighteen. (february)  
**

He was woken up at three in the morning by a phone call. He groggily put the phone to his ear and Horohoro's voice angrily blared out at him. The Ainu boy wanted to know where the fuck he was and why he hadn't been contacting any of them at all in the last eight months. Horohoro ranted on, telling him how he had finally been able to pull enough strings to get the number of the hotel Ren was staying at. Ren couldn't even remember what country he was in.

He reminded him that they were supposed to be friends.

Ren noticed, halfway through his best friend's irritated monologue, that it was gone. All the feelings he had for Horohoro were gone. He could have collapsed from relief.

He heard Joco, Yoh, Manta, and Lyserg in the background.

They had called because it had been Ren's birthday last month. Even he himself had even forgotten his own birthday.

As each of his friends took turns talking to him, he found himself almost asking about Pirika. He increasingly became snarkier, more arrogant. And it felt wonderful. His friends each laughed, remarking that it sounded like he was returning to his old self. They had assumed that he had been acting differently senior year because of all the pressure from becoming the future CEO of X-LAWS.

If they only knew the real reason.

He haughtily cut them off and hung up, tossing the phone back in its cradle as he felt reinvigorated and refreshed for the first time in over a year.

_Yes, the old Ren is back_.

* * *

**nineteen.** **(march)**

Ren looked at the veiled girl standing in front of him. The wedding guests were very minimal: it was just Marco, Jun and Ren's parents. Ren declined to tell any of his friends that he was getting married, didn't bother to send out invitations.

All he could think of as he pushed that veil back to emotionlessly kiss her was how he had imagined Pirika to be in Jeanne's place every single day for half a year before the ceremony.

None of this was right. Not the girl, not the other family that was attending, not even the actual ceremony itself. As they broke the kiss, he stole a glance at Marco who had insisted on a traditional Western wedding, despite the fact that the Tao clan was one of the oldest and most revered families in all of China.

He resentfully stepped back from her, clenching his teeth in disgust as he remembered the Tao clan's demands that he provide them with a son as soon as possible. Their orders that he screw her the first day of their honeymoon period.

_What a great wedding present_.

* * *

**twenty. (april)**

Much more confident in everything he was doing, Ren's performance in everything Marco had asked him to do drastically skyrocketed. And the CEO had noticed it. Thus, Marco happily gave Ren a few weeks off for personal time.

On the X-LAWS private plane back to Japan, Ren reclined in the plush seat, a smug look on his face as he thought of how he should show up at Pirika's house.

_Unannounced, of course_.

Bason hurriedly drove him from the airport to the Usui residence and Ren found himself once again standing outside of Horohoro's door. Except this time, he was looking for the younger of the two siblings. He knocked, feeling rather good about himself.

Instead, he was greeted by Horohoro who, at first shocked, pulled him into an embrace and ushered him inside. The Ainu boy kept blabbering on and finally congratulated him on Jeanne and the baby that was on the way.

_Wait…baby?_

Horohoro had heard the news right after Jeanne had found out she was pregnant. Ren's eyes widened. He paused and corrected himself: _everyone_ had heard the news.

He went on talking about how Jeanne was staying with Lyserg and his family now that she had no need to finish high school. Horohoro frowned as he had said this. Ren nodded as he agreed that Jeanne shouldn't be ordered to stop going to school, especially since she legitimately loved learning.

Ren closed his eyes and breathed deeply before asking where Pirika was.

_She knows about the pregnancy_.

Horohoro shrugged and said that she was probably out with a guy. He brought up that Pirika had gotten accepted to a university in New York. So did her boyfriend. She hasn't cried once since they started going out.

Ren stood up and went to the bathroom. He wordlessly stood in front of the sink, staring at the mirror above it.

* * *

**twenty-one. (may)  
**

Marco decided to speed up Ren's promotion and he commenced training once the Tao boy got back from Japan.

They immediately boarded a plane to America to work out a deal with the notoriously corrupt Patch organization there.

As they landed, Ren hardened his resolve to act colder than usual. This only contributed to how well Ren closed the deal, leaving both the X-LAWS and the Patch happy.

Marco was overjoyed and he insisted in organizing an end-of-engagement dinner for Ren. He shepherded Ren around, introducing him as his protégé to some of the most powerful business leaders in the world: Goldva and Silva of the Patch, Hao of FireSpirit, Luchist of Archangels, Lady Sati of Gandhara, Dr. Munzer of Golem. Leaders of industry from medicine to oil. Ren didn't care either way as long as the constant interaction with these people took his mind off of Pirika.

Goldva came up to him, a boy of about nineteen years in tow. Ren's age. He introduced him as Nichrom, the Patch's own up and coming star.

Nichrom smiled tauntingly at Ren as the two shook hands. He said that then this made them rivals. Ren sneered back as he responded that yes, maybe even enemies.

_We're going to get along perfectly._

Ren knew he probably shouldn't have drunk that much of the champagne that had been serving at the dinner. That shit was potent as he discovered later on when he was grabbing his dress shirt and pants off of the floor where he had thrown them the night before. He flung Nichrom's discarded suit jacket on the chair before looking smirking at the sleeping naked boy. He pulled the covers back over Nichrom before entering the bathroom to take a shower. When he was finished, the other boy had already left. Ren swiftly exited the hotel room the dinner had been hosted at the night before.

As he entered into the elevator he admitted to himself that he couldn't blame the champagne. He consciously did it, wanted to be touched, wanted to be wanted again.

_Is it so bad to desire that?_

As he stepped into the lobby, Pirika was there with Nichrom. She looked up and Ren could tell the other boy had told her of the events that had transpired between. She nodded understandingly and walked away.

Ren couldn't move and when he could finally speak, he demanded her to stay. Ordered her to comply with his wishes with all of the authority he could muster into his voice.

But she had been long gone.

* * *

**twenty-two. (june)**

Ren called in sick to work and Jeanne made him tea and soup. They talked for the first time as husband and wife. Scratch that, they talked for the first time. Period. He was surprised to find that she was actually rather pleasant and witty. He asked her about the pregnancy. She merely smiled and told him not to worry about it.

She handed him a book plainly wrapped in brown paper. He stared at it, trying to calculate if it was some sort of anniversary that girls were always meticulously, obsessively keeping track of (Oh, honey, it's our three week, seven days, and one hour anniversary!). As if Jeanne had read his mind, she laughed her delicate little laugh and shook her head, saying, no, it wasn't an anniversary or birthday or holiday that had slipped his mind.

He cocked his head and asked rather bluntly what it _was_ for then.

She shrugged a little and tucked some hair that had fallen loose from her headband behind her ear. For love, she said simply.

He wondered what the hell _that_ was supposed to mean and unwrapped it. A leather bound book of ancient Chinese myths looked back up at him.

He would've probably gone into some kind of career or field that dealt with those kinds of stories, she explained.

He snorted. This girl didn't know the first thing about him. He dryly informed her that he had intended on going into business, regardless if Marco and his parents had interfered with his plans or not. Besides, he had found myths and ancient stories to be quite frivolous. Useless.

She shook her head once more and told him to trust her. It was a gut feeling.

He pushed back the cover and looked at the table of contents. Dozens upon dozens upon dozens of myth names swirled in front of him. He looked at her, a flash of helplessness darting across his face for a split second, and asked her where she would like for him to start.

Begin at the beginning, she said. It would be nice for him to know that at least one thing still had structure in his life. That order still existed.

He glared at the first simple page, the fine quality fibers of the first page slightly indenting as his finger tips dug into it. He sourly and silently asked himself what use could any of this have, what relevance this potentially could contain to _anything_ in the world.

She stood up and stretched a bit. Suddenly she remarked in a seemingly casual way that he would be surprised at the answers he would find. Though he _was_ living in the past (he winced, ashamed that it was so noticeable to everyone, even her), it wasn't necessarily always a bad thing. She smiled. Sometimes, one must look into the past to answer the questions one has in the present. At least, that's what she had told him.

She excused herself and went to go change into a respectable dress for yet another outing for Lyserg.

_Lyserg_.

She was spending quite a lot of time with that boy. He shrugged. Whatever would make her happy and occupied, he justified to himself. But…it _was_ a bit strange that she was still living with Lyserg.

He looked down at the book of myths. Perhaps, he could learn to love her. But something still felt a little off.

He wondered how she would react if he told her what had happened first with Horohoro and later with Nichrom. And then that's when it hit him.

_She isn't Pirika_.

* * *

**month twenty-three. (july)  
**

He was sitting by himself on the bench in the park by her house at night when someone came over to join him. It was Pirika. She turned to him and grinned playfully and asked him if he knew what happened last month. He nodded. She had graduated from high school. They both sat in silence, not needing Pirika to bring up how he didn't attend her and Jeanne's graduation or Ren to apologize for not coming back to Japan for it. Instead, he finally brought up the fact she had a boyfriend. She made a little noise of acknowledgement. He asked how they met, his voice rising in anger a little by the end. They'd met through a mutual friend and had gone to their senior prom together. Ren inwardly kicked himself in the head. Senior prom. He had forgotten about that.

He asked her, trying to maintain his composure, if she had ever stopped to think about him. About what he wanted. Didn't it matter to her? Suddenly she stood up and told him he couldn't have everything. He narrowed his eyes.

She continued talking without looking at him. Of course she thought about it. She thought about what he wanted nonstop. But it was time that the two of them accepted that both of their lives couldn't be about what Ren wanted all the time anymore. It wasn't fair, she said, for him to create this totally new life and expect her to not move on.

He insisted that he wasn't ordering her to not move on, just that he thought she would've waited for him. But both of them knew that he was demanding her to keep living in the past just like he was.

It didn't matter, she protested, biting her lip until her tongue felt the drawn blood from the self-inflicted wound. He had a wife.

He interrupted to tell her that in his eyes, he didn't. That he wasn't married. Because he nor Jeanne had a say in the matter. It was a marriage of convenience, nothing more, nothing less. In fact, it _was_ less. It was an arranged marriage! Everyone knew that those weren't _real_ marriages.

She quietly brought up Yoh and Anna. Did that make Yoh and Anna's love any _less_ real? Ren immediately fell silent.

She visibly swallowed as she said that he also had a child on the way.

Ren could feel himself begin to shake as all semblances of previous self-control dissipated into nothingness. He could feel himself trying not to yell that he didn't care about the child. He would gladly give up his son—

She cut him off, pleading him to not finish his sentence. She whispered that she had hoped that Ren would care for the child. After all, if somehow it was Ren and herself that ended up together and with a child, she would want him to love and want any child they would have. To tell her that he would want to keep their child. But how can she expect that when Ren didn't even care about his future son or daughter he was having with a girl his family _actually_ approved of?

She forced herself to choke out her next question. If she had been the one his parents had arranged for him to marry, would he resent her as much? She was almost unable to tell him through her heaving sobs that she didn't know what she would do if he ever hated her that much. She stood up and backed away, clearly shake and scared of his answer to that question, saying it was necessary for him and her sanity that she move on from whatever they had.

She couldn't have handled it much longer.

After she had left, Ren finished his interrupted statement. He would give up this child he felt no attachment to, his marriage that was loveless, his entire life that was a sham, for any chance of being with her. How he would love and keep any child they would have together. How he loved how she was real and how she made him feel real for the first time in his nineteen years of existence. How he had been hoping she was the one he was supposed to marry when his parents made the announcement.

How he could never hate her.

_You can't have everything._

_

* * *

_

**twenty-four. (august)**

She calls him and puts on her happiest voice. She is at the airport already with all of her friends, her boyfriend, her brother, her coach, even some of her teachers. Everyone except for the one person she had hoped for the most. He was in France at the moment, waiting for Marco to formally announce at a worldwide broadcasted press conference his promotion to co-president of X-LAWS.

She is smiling after the first three rings. But with each successive electronic ring after that, her smile wanes until it totally disappeared. The phone asks her if she would like to leave a voicemail. She simply replies that she is leaving for New York and won't be back until December. She checks the time on her cellphone before turning it completely off. She has no idea how she will be able to handle it if he calls her back. Worse, she has no idea what she else she would have said if he _had_ answered the call.

Ren was jolted out of his sleep by the insistent rattling on the table in front of him which signified he had a missed call.

Horohoro pulls Pirika towards the rest of the group. She had walked away, off to the side by an empty gate to give herself privacy. She does not want anyone to know that she had called Ren. Especially her brother. But as they pose for one last group picture and Jeanne studies her face, Pirika sees that Ren's fiancée completely _knew_ who exactly she had called. And she has no idea what to say.

He felt someone grab him by the arm and shake the remaining drowsiness out of him. Then he was rushing towards the podium, several aides pushing him along and shoving other people to make way for him as he listened to the voicemail.

Pirika feels herself doing yet another round of tearful hugs and goodbyes and everyone laughingly ushers her towards the gate. Someone reminds her to shut off her cellphone. She is about to respond that she already had but looks down. It appears as if the button had stuck. She shakes her head and damns her cheap phone and she depresses the power button.

They tried yanking away the phone from his hand right after Pirika's message was over but he fiercely held on. The aides appeared to have given up and just thrust him in front of the camera for his first statement as the co-owner of the largest arms company in the world.

Pirika's boyfriend looks at her and smiles gently, taking her hand. She wants nothing more than to drop his hand and not look at him for the rest of the trek to New York. They both walk through the gate towards the plane and away from her home for the past two years.

In front of hundreds of people physically present at the conference and thousands upon thousands of people watching the live broadcast from the comfort of their homes, Ren couldn't stop himself before he pressed the return call button, his eyes wide and his body paralyzed as everyone waited for him to speak. Fate had been laughing at him all this time: his phone snidely informed him that the person he was trying to reach was no longer available, the line dissolving into static almost mockingly.

How ironic.

_This isn't the best of times._

_

* * *

_**A/N**: thus, the end of the second year of Pirika and Ren's story. Have I mentioned I actually had these first two chapters on my laptop since november? I suppose I just completely forgot about it. good thing I actually remembered to post it =) I quite enjoy(ed) writing this story. one of the few that I am legitimately happy with. if you enjoyed this or something, just click on that nice white-green button to review =) you know you wanna...


	3. year three

**PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LISTEN TO THE SONG _"YOUR EX-LOVER IS DEAD"_ BY STARS ON REPEAT WHILE READING THIS: **w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 4 v 8 F J h Q - t e E** (just remove the spaces. or just look it up). It will enhance the story like no other. I swear/promise/etc.**

* * *

**dedicated**: of course, to my readers, and especially to my regular reviewers. but first and foremost, to **sOrbetes**, who is one of the sweetest, nicest, most dedicated RenPiri supporters ever. This is for you, dear!

* * *

**twenty-five. (september)  
**

Jun decided that it was time for an intervention. So she stopped by Ren's office on a whim, easily bypassing the heavy security at the X-LAWS building by a carefree wave of her visitor's pass (it also helped that nearly every single male employee at the company was in love with her). She told her brother that she was kidnapping him for some quality sibling bonding. He simply looked at her, not saying anything because of his sheer lack of energy the past month.

At Hang Zang-Ching's, the classiest Chinese restaurant in all of Tokyo, she finally told him to spill after she finished off her mandarin orange chicken with a final delicate bite. He angrily glared down at the untouched rice on his plate as he asked why their parents hadn't set Jun up in an arranged marriage like they had with him.

She smirked (she _was_ a Tao after all) and took a microscopic sip of water from her glass. She stated in an even keel voice that she didn't matter in their family. That _Ren_ was the heir, not her. Since she was a girl, they didn't care what happened to her.

Which is why, Ren growled, she was free to marry whomever she pleased. He resignedly indicated her engagement ring with a curt tilt of his chin.

She smiled again, good-naturedly, just to piss him off. Yes, well, he would get along just perfectly with Pailong. Perhaps they could train together—

Ren rolled his eyes. Of course, their parents wouldn't have cared if Jun married Pailong. He had the celebrity status that was missing in their entire family, he was making millions…what more could they want?

_Nothing. There is nothing more they could possibly want_.

When the bill arrived, the two siblings reached for it at the same time. Anticipating a silent standoff on who gets to retain their pride via paying for the meal and thus illustrating the grand amount of money both possessed, Ren tightened his hold on the black leather case. To his surprise however, Jun slowly let go of it and sunk back into her chair. He skeptically slid his platinum member credit card to the waiter who had meekly shrunk back when Ren and Jun had grabbed the bill from him.

Jun, having that eternally perturbing expression of having her brother cornered when he didn't even know it yet, said that Ren could go ahead and pay. However, she emphasized, he had to do something in exchange.

Ren exhaled sharply, clearly annoyed and asked her what the price was.

She effected an air of boredom about her. Her price was simple: just read a certain myth in the book Jeanne had given him.

Ren narrowed his eyes. He should've guessed that his sister had played some sort of part in the whole thing a few months ago.

He contemplated just standing up and leaving her but fought against it. After all, it would be interesting to see what exactly she wanted from him.

She placed the chopsticks she had had in her hand the entire time down and folded her hands together, prepared to talk business. She wanted him to read the myth on the red string of fate.

He snorted. He had already devoured (much to his surprise) the entire book of legends. He somehow, over these past few months, found it rather difficult to put down. And if one were to open the book, they would find desperately hurried annotations, notes to cross reference a certain historical point with another myth or to look up in the library later, squeezed into the side, more of his graphite handwriting showing than paper. And the legend of the red string of fate was the one that had the most questions, the most comments, the most of his interest clearly scribbled all over the margins of the short story.

She waved her hand, slightly irritated. She wanted him to read it _again_. But this time, keeping himself and his current situation in mind. His sister grabbed her purse and strutted away briskly.

* * *

**twenty-six. (october)**

_Walking home one night, a young boy suddenly finds one of his fingers bound by a red string. He decides to ask the village wise man what it means. He explains to the boy that he is attached to his destined wife by the red thread. The boy immediately begins to follow where his thread is tied to and finally arrives to the end of it, where he is greeted by the sight of a little girl whose finger is similarly tied to the same string as his. Being young and naïve and having no interest in having a wife, the young boy picks up a rock and throws it at the girl, running away. _

_Many years later, when the boy has grown into a young man, he comes across one of the greatest beauties in the land. Overcome by her perfection, he immediately talks to her parents and arranges to be married to her. On the night of his wedding, his wife waits for him in their bedroom, with the traditional veil covering her face. Raising it, he discovers that she wears an adornment above her eyebrow. He asks her why she wears it and she responds that when she was a young girl, a boy threw a rock at her that struck her above her brow, leaving a scar behind. She self consciously wears the adornment to cover it up. The young man is stunned as he realizes the truth._

_The woman is, in fact, the same young girl connected to the man by the red thread back in his childhood._

He read it over and over again obsessively, trying to extrapolate the meaning that Jun and Jeanne wanted him to get out of it.

And yet, he still couldn't figure it out.

_What does this mean?_

_

* * *

_**twenty-seven. (november)**

While in New York to just carry out a standard conference with the Manhattan branch of the Patch Corporation, Ren found himself in possession of an entire day before he had to head back to Japan.

_A day of…what is those normal working folk call it…ah, yes, 'free time.'_

Upon realizing this, Ren stopped in his tracks, rather unsure of what to do. He never had come across this situation, or rather predicament as he saw it, before in all of his working life. He called Marco to find out his orders, to see if there was anything else he needed from him. To his surprise, his co-CEO laughed and simply told him to enjoy himself. Just take some leisure time for once.

_Leisure time? Is he aware of the Tao family's work ethic?_

Thankfully, before he had departed for America last week, Ren had absentmindedly texted Manta as the Oyamada heir had requested he do if Ren ever found himself in New York. Manta had left before their junior year to resume his studies abroad wherever his father pleased. Which apparently was the United States. Ren had found himself making plans with Manta, confident that none of them would've fallen through anyways, considering his usually hectic work schedule would never allow for them.

Irony.

So the next thing that Ren knew, he was walking down the street to the university where Manta was a research assistant. He acknowledged the shorter boy with a curt nod of his head, a rather warm greeting coming from him and the two proceeded to a nearby coffee shop.

Almost the entire walk was in silence, Ren not wanting to be bothered to attempt to even talk to Manta and Manta too scared to start a conversation.

The only reason he had almost unwillingly called up his friend again to set some concrete plans was the fact that not only was Manta a research assistant. He was a research assistant specializing in the field of East Asian history.

Perfect.

Ren had discovered quite belatedly half-way through the business trip that the book of legends had _somehow_ ended up in his briefcase. And he had a feeling that that _somehow_'s name was Jun and Jeanne.

Typical.

So he decided to make do with what he had and try to use it to his advantage. Before Manta could find yet another exhausted, painfully boring and mundane topic to broach, Ren had, with a mere flick of his wrist and a deft movement of fingers, flung the book at Manta, the leather bound novel impacting the novel and sliding to a completely perfect stop in front of his companion, the top and bottom of the book running parallel to the tabletop at which they were seated.

_Calculated, as always._

Manta, clearly shaken, tentatively opened the book, as if expecting something to jump out at him, since with Ren, one could never be too cautious. While he was examining the contents of the collection of myths, Ren asked very bluntly and very to the point if Manta could be so kind as to explain how the _fuck_ the red string of fate legend applied to him.

Manta, being the lover of history and myths, winced at the profane word being used in conjunction with one of what he felt to be the most beautiful and meaningful stories ever written. He half laughed, half sighed, as he remembered that Ren, though extremely intelligent and proficient in other ways, was not always the brightest when it came to finding the deeper meaning in things.

He smirked before he could help himself as he arrived at the proper page, observing the conflicted, desperate annotations that riddled the margins of the legend, only able to conjecture how many hours Ren had spent torturing himself over what he was _supposed_ to extrapolate from the passages. Manta opened his mouth to rattle out the answer but then…then he _saw_.

He saw a soul that needed to find the answer on its own before it could start healing.

So instead he pretended to read it, shrugged, and handed it back and remarked that it was probably just a girl thing that only Jun and Jeanne would understand.

Suddenly Ren's phone rang but before he could answer it, the device fell silent. Curiously enough it was Pirika who had called him.

Pirika's eyes widen as she realizes her mistake and immediately terminates the call. Simple enough: her newest edited entry of _Tao Jeanne_ is very close in proximity to _Tao Ren_ on her contacts list. A simple slip of the finger. A simple neglecting to look at the screen. A simple matter of her subconscious desire to talk to him because she misses him.

Wait. The last part isn't right. She shakes her head to clear her mind and recompose herself and this time, calls the Tao she actually wants to talk to.

The phone rings for a few times and she opens her mouth to speak when she hears the click of the receiver being lifted out of its cradle. But to her surprise a low voice answers it. A man's voice. A voice that belongs to neither Jeanne nor Ren.

Lyserg greets her. Pirika's voice comes out squeaky and tinny, completely caught off guard. It had slipped her mind that Jeanne was still living with him. A bit strange, considering that she had been married to _another man_ for the past eight months.

Not that Pirika is counting or anything.

He finally takes the hint and gives the phone to Jeanne. Her best friend asks her if everything is okay since Lyserg said she sounded a bit flustered.

Pirika snorts and says that flustered is putting it lightly. Without even thinking about it, Pirika mindlessly brings up the only thing she had been so scared of broaching in all of their months of friendship.

She asks what Lyserg is to her.

Jeanne falls silent, so silent that Pirika wonders for a little bit if the other girl had hung up.

When she speaks again, it is with a distant, almost shaky voice. She quietly tells her that Lyserg is the fourth and final player in their tangled up, veritable cat's cradle of a red string.

And that's when Pirika realizes that everyone was with the wrong person. That the threads of destiny had somehow been crossed before any of their fates could have been carried out. That's when she realizes that no one is happy, no matter how much they try to seem like they are.

But what hurts her the most is when Jeanne softly says that Lyserg is what Ren is to Pirika.

Unattainable.

Untouchable.

Forbidden.

But, in both of their hearts of hearts, they know it is right.

* * *

**twenty-eight. (december)**

Ren damned the amount of stairs the hospital had. He damned the traffic he had encountered on the way. He damned his delayed flight. But mostly he damned himself.

After wrestling with disposable scrubs for a minute or two, he burst into the hospital room. To his surprise, Pirika and Lyserg were there already, asleep in their chairs. Ren made a careful arc along the side of the room towards Lyserg who, he figured, would be less awkward to wake up.

He prodded him the ribs and the other man jolted awake. His face immediately reddened as if Ren had caught him in the act of doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

Which was strange because Ren didn't really mind if Lyserg had fallen asleep or not.

He stuttered out that Jeanne was undergoing a Cesarean section because her body was too fragile and weak for a normal delivery.

Not wanting to quite believe it and fully well knowing what it was, Ren asked what that was.

A C-section, Lyserg said, looking very pained, was when they would cut through Jeanne's abdomen and womb so that they could access the baby.

They both shook their heads, not even trying to fathom how traumatic the operation would be on Jeanne's delicate frame.

When he thought Lyserg wasn't looking, he stole a glance at Pirika's sleeping form, wondering how she would've been able to handle it if she were the one giving birth.

They both jumped a little when a light clicked on above the delivery room. Lyserg who Ren finally saw looked extremely fatigued told him that it indicated that family members were allowed to enter now.

Ren nodded but as he began walking to the door, he asked Lyserg not to tell Pirika he had been there.

Doctors and nurses began filing out of the room, leaving only a nurse and Jeanne inside by the time Ren entered. They had cleaned Jeanne up, washing her off and changing bloody sheets, leaving only a flushed and barely conscious girl in their wake. A nurse handed him his son, a small little thing with his mother's eyes and hair.

_I am responsible for this. For another human being_.

Jeanne had somehow found the energy and willpower to open her eyes. Ren quickly knelt down by her bedside and grabbed her hand. They both stared at the child. _Their_ child. Such a tiny thing could cause so much pain.

As Jeanne could barely keep herself from laughing and crying simultaneously and Ren even smiled himself, they looked into one another's eyes as if seeing each other for the first time. Ren pushed her sweaty bangs out of her face while Jeanne brought his hand to her cheek. And then they knew. They knew what they had to do. What they finally were to each other and the rest of the world. Jeanne rested her head on Ren's shoulder and he sighed, at last satisfied and content for the first time in years.

_It's nice to finally have some good news to tell other people for a change_.

* * *

**twenty-nine. (january)**

They had gathered all of their friends, plus Jun and Pailong, into the same room. Ren and Jeanne kept smiling like newlywed idiots with a surprise that made them infinitely happy.

Everyone had assumed they were simply going to introduce Tao Men to them. It was only natural that the pair would be eager to show off their newest addition to their family. While waiting for Ren and Jeanne to make their announcement, they all agreed that the Taos made quite the model couple and now family.

Well, that is, everyone except for Pirika and Lyserg who simply looked at each other knowingly.

Horohoro yawned and made a vain attempt at kicking Ren and told him to get on with it already.

Ren nodded, still trying not to smile. Jeanne looked like she was just about ready to collapse into a happy mess. They took one another's hands, causing Lyserg and Pirika to furrow their brows and narrow their eyes suspiciously.

Jeanne nodded at Ren who took a deep breath.

_We're getting a divorce!_

Horohoro's jaw dropped as he asked what exactly they were talking about.

Jeanne smiled and told them that neither of them had ever wanted the marriage and that it wasn't fair to either of them or to _anyone_ that they would continue to be in it.

Chocolove hesitated and inquired if that was what they really wanted. They both nodded.

Yoh grinned and asked if that would make both of them happy. Jeanne and Ren gave their affirmation wholeheartedly. The entire room seemed to ease up as everyone gave their uncertain congratulations. After about twenty minutes of carefree chatter, everyone left the Tao household. That is, everyone except for Pirika and Ren.

Trying to ease the tension, Ren immediately tried to make conversation. He asked how she and her boyfriend were doing back in New York.

She sighed and waved her hand.

Ren nodded. However, she shook her head, her eyes closed and her hands gripping the soft material of the chair she was sitting in. She asked if he was doing this for her sake.

He merely blinked and inquired what she meant.

She opened her eyes, her tired, exhausted eyes and asked if he was getting a divorce so that he could be with her and Jeanne could be with Lyserg.

Ren said that she need not worry. He wasn't as selfish as he used to be. He wasn't doing it for her or for himself or for Jeanne or for Lyserg or for anyone.

She demanded then for whom he was doing it.

He shrugged. He was doing it because it was the right thing.

She stood up suddenly, yelling how could divorce ever be right. How could it possibly ever be the right thing to do under any circumstances?

Instead of answering her question, he quietly asked if her parents had gotten a divorce when she and Horohoro were younger.

She blinked and then slowly nodded. He said that he had guessed as much since Horohoro had always avoided talking about his parents whenever the topic came up. He went on to tell her that her reaction was understandable then. Her anger was understandable.

She began crying, saying that divorce was the cowardly thing to do. That it was a scared ducking of responsibility of his duties as a father and husband. That it was the easy way out of any problem that might crop up in his marriage. The wrong way out.

Suddenly, he gathered her up in his arms and held her, much like a parent would do to a sobbing child. He cradled her as she buried her face in his chest.

Of course the reasons for divorce would be different for different situations. Sometimes it would be the absolute wrong thing to do. But sometimes it would be the absolute right thing to do as well. He told her that he wasn't doing it because he didn't want the responsibility of taking care of a wife and child.

He felt her feebly ask why he was doing it.

He did it because it wasn't fair to Jeanne or to himself. But most of all, it wasn't fair to their son who would grow up with parents who didn't love each other like parents should.

She stiffened at his reasoning and her hands tightened on the sleeves of his jacket.

Wouldn't it be better if the son grew up in a more loving environment with two sets of parents even if it were more unconventional? Wouldn't it be better if he were surrounded by love rather than a lack of?

She nodded, a new wave of body heaving sobs and tears coursing through her.

Wouldn't it be better if she and her brother had been surrounded by love rather than a lack of?

Her breathing began slowing down and her hiccups began subsiding. He put his hand on the back of her head and ran his thumb through her hair.

_How long have you been running away from this? All your pain? How much is your pain that it would make you move thousands of miles away?_

After about twenty minutes of Ren patiently holding her, she had fallen asleep, her crying having taken everything out of her. He placed her, lying down, onto the sofa she had always sat on back when Pirika would go over to his house all the time. Before leaving, he removed his jacket and laid it on top of her as a sort of makeshift blanket.

But before he went through the front door, Jun intercepted him on his way out. Ren could tell that she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Instead, she kept her eyes trained on the ground and her hand firm around his arm.

She asked if he had ever thought what their parents would say when they would find out about the divorce.

Ren clenched his teeth together and yanked his arm from her grasp, straightening out the wrinkles in his shirt sleeve her grip had left.

_From this point on, it's my life to live._

_

* * *

_**thirty. (february)**

He arrived at the flat Jeanne had moved into. She had surprised them all, moving out of Lyserg's house and living on her own. But then again, Ren had metaphorically done the same, opting to survive on his own for some time rather than immediately going after Pirika.

They busily worked on the divorce papers, early on coming to a painless agreement that they would not touch the other's original assets and sharing joint custody of Men. They had been doing this every day since the announcement last month. Both couldn't say that the process wasn't therapeutic in its own way.

One might even describe it as cathartic.

This time though, in the middle of filling out the numerous forms, Jeanne casually asked what Ren was going to do now that they were living their own lives.

Ren narrowed his eyes slightly in confusion.

She smiled and said that she, for one, was going to pursue her life long dream and enter a conservatory to be classically trained in playing the violin.

He hesitated and said that he hadn't really given much thought to it.

She seemed as if she was done talking about the subject and went back to doing work. However, little by little, without taking her eyes off of her task at hand, she pushed a piece of paper towards him with her pen.

Columbia University—Transfer Student Application

He smirked and shook his head. Perhaps she did know him a little better than he had assumed.

She remarked that Columbia University…isn't that where he was originally admitted to and was going to go two years ago?

He rolled his eyes and told her to drop the act. It was too late anyways, they wouldn't want him.

She pursed her lips and put her pen down, looking at him. If they wanted him before, she reasoned, they would still want him now. Especially with his impressive credentials, Jeanne exclaimed. Being co-CEO for the world's largest arms manufacturing company would make him more than qualified enough for Columbia's School of Business.

He exhaled noisily and half-heartedly agreed, trying to summon an air of boredom about him, and went back to work. Jeanne smiled and, using one finger, pulled the application towards her as she busily filled out the basics from him. She suddenly paused, making her uncertainty very obvious so that Ren stopped in his own work to see what the problem was.

She pretended to be torn over whether or not Ren would want on campus housing. He shrugged and using his own pen, was about to mark down that he wanted a dorm. She plucked the writing utensil from his fingers and wagged it at him. Didn't he remember that Columbia was in New York, she asked.

He narrowed his eyes. Of course he knew where Columbia was located. The fact that it was in New York was one of the main reasons why he even considered—

He cut himself off. He asked her what she was plotting. She blinked slowly and replied nothing. Nothing at all. However, it was her small smile that kept him alert that something was up. He glared at her until she finally revealed what she was planning. Since Pirika was going to NYU and he was going to Columbia…well…perhaps…

He shook his head and gave an extremely monotone yet resolute _no_.

She gave a start, her silver hair sweeping along the back of her chair. How could he say no so quickly before even hearing out what she was thinking, she asked.

He frowned at his completed form before filing it away. He told her that he already knew what she was going to propose: that he and Pirika could get an apartment in New York together. He capped his pen.

_It would never work out between us._

_

* * *

_**thirty-one. (march)**

Ren was a bit shocked when he checked his email and found a message from Pirika waiting for him in his inbox. He was surprised she had actually responded. Her email started off a bit awkward and then it simply transitioned to being polite, telling him of mundane, conversational things that one might send to an acquaintance from a few years back. However, he smirked when he saw she had signed off with a _Much love_.

_Progress is progress is progress._

He had told her that he was thinking of sending in a transfer student application to Columbia. But this time, he'd actually be able to go.

She responded, encouraging him and telling him how amazing it was to live in New York.

He had elaborated a little on the divorce process and how it was going absolutely swimmingly.

She told him that it was nice that everything was great between him and Jeanne.

The bark of laughter he had let out after reading her statement rang through his apartment.

_Ironic, don't you think?_

He had supposed that she had found the part of Men throwing up all over his X-LAWS briefcase to be cute because she had put a little smiley face next to her reaction there.

Ren frowned as he thought of the X-LAWS. And of Marco. He certainly couldn't work there anymore since Marco would probably never want to see or hear from him again. He'd be more surprised if his co-CEO _didn't_ send an assassin after him. For one, he knew all the inside information of the company and for all anyone knew, Ren could waltz on over to the Patch and tell them all of the X-LAWS secrets. And two, well…Jeanne was Marco's daughter. An angry ex-father-in-law was something not to be screwed around with.

He would have to find another means of employment. Sure, he could just leech off of the Tao family fortune but he never wanted to be indebted to his parents again. He considered for a moment working at Pailong's training dojo but then again the Taos were too closely tied to his brother-in-law's business.

He kept thinking about it as he finished reading the rest of her message. He raised his eyebrows as he read that she was thinking of taking a study abroad program like her brother had done the year before to Hokkaido for reforestation in the countryside there.

And then that's when it hit him.

* * *

**thirty-two. (april)**

Ren simply stared at the field. Then at Horohoro. Then back at the field. And then he asked him what he wanted him to do _exactly_.

His friend blushed and said that he understood that it was hard to market his marimo—

Ren cut him off. Not hard. _Impossible_.

Horohoro protested, saying that there had to be some way. Ren was a bigshot business man. He had convinced entire countries that they even needed _more _weapons, despite the fact that they already had a surplus of back up nuclear arms and excess missiles. He had negotiated with the best of the best of the best…_and_ _won_. He could persuade Ainus to buy snow if he wanted to. Therefore, Horohoro concluded, Ren could find a way to start up a small business and sell the marimo he grew on the farms.

Ren held up a finger.

_What. If. No. One. Wants. To. Buy. Them._

His best friend opened his mouth. And then closed it. Opened it again. And closed it once more. It beat him, Horohoro said, shrugging. That was Ren's problem.

Ren rolled his eyes as he thought that it was a waste of a plane ticket to even come to Hokkaido. Horohoro frowned as he saw his friend's reluctance and lack of hope and belief in his life's work. He _needed_ Ren as a business partner and for him to believe in the enterprise. _Pirika_ had always said how good Ren was at business, Horohoro said, rather offhandedly.

Ren's eye twitched and he nearly dropped the NetBook he was holding.

The Ainu boy informed him that she'd be so disappointed if Ren left so soon considering she had finalized her plans to visit Hokkaido to help out with the reforestation effort for the next few months.

Ren's shoe he had been digging into the soft loamy soil had made a huge hole at Horohoro's last statement.

He could barely keep himself from smiling. Not to mention, since Pirika was a very economical girl, she'd cut down on expenses and simply live at home during her study abroad period. Horohoro cleared his throat. The same house where Ren would be staying.

Ren coughed loudly, spluttering out his agreement that he was in on the deal.

* * *

**thirty-three. (may)**

Ren opened the windows of the room he was staying in but then immediately shut them as sunlight began to uncontrollably filter inside, blinding him. He grumbled, cursing the lack of air conditioning in the Usui household. He wondered if in high school he had ever envisioned his future self as getting rapidly promoted to co-CEO of one of the biggest, quasi-empire companies in the world and then quickly falling to struggling with opening a small, private business to sell one of the most disgusting foods he and the entire human race had ever had the (dis)pleasure of tasting.

He frowned a bit.

_Probably not._

He had thought that the arrival of Pirika would've (more than) made up for his shitty deal with his so-called best friend but she had been avoiding him for the past few weeks for no adequately explained reason whatsoever. Worse yet, she refused to talk to him about it.

He sighed and pushed up his dress shirt sleeves. He pondered his reasons for actually agreeing to help Horohoro out. Of course, it had started off as a means of income. Though the living conditions were less than ideal, the venture more than simply difficult, and the company a bit awkward, he wouldn't have it any other way. He'd much rather do this than rely on his family once again for money. He was independent. He was intelligent. Hell, he could be receiving an Ivy League education right now if it weren't for his parents' meddling.

Then of course, he'd only thought of the possibility of spending time with Pirika when her brother had brought it up none too subtly. He didn't even consider pursuing any sort of relationship with her but it would still be more than worth it if he could spend time with her. So that was definitely part of his motivation.

And, on a subconscious level he supposed, he wanted to atone for what had transpired with Horohoro two years ago. For the constant lying and withholding of what actually had happened that night. For putting him through confusion and, Ren winced here, pain to some extent. Putting himself through small enterprise hell made himself feel better, as if by self-inflicted punishment washed away his lies and deception.

Ren pushed his sweaty bangs out of his face, glaring one last time at the sun. He had neglected to cut his hair the past few months, what with the whole life changing decisions and such. He dismissed the thought, wondering why he ever even bothered to cut his hair before. It was such a pain and so unnecessary. Not to mention, he sort of actually _liked_ growing his hair out a bit.

He gave up in his fight against the rising temperature and stripped off his shirt, resigning himself to just taking a shower. He stripped off the remainder of his clothes, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his body and headed towards the only bathroom in the small house. He kept muttering to himself, lamenting his sacrifices of his air conditioned chauffeured car, his air conditioned house, his air conditioned office.

_I gave all of that up for what? I get next to nothing pay, a cramped room, and—_

He cut himself off as he saw something glinting in the drain of the shower after he was finished with his own bath. Upon closer examination it appeared to be a necklace. He studied it, running his finger over the pendant. Something within him flared up as he dried himself off and threw on some clothes. He marched over to Pirika's room and leaned against her door frame.

She looked up momentarily, looking annoyed as if she had expected her brother to be there. She immediately reddened and looked back down at her homework as soon as she it was Ren waiting to speak to her, her apparent interest in her assignment tripling.

He lazily held out his finger, the necklace dangling from the end of it, the heart shaped pendant swinging from side to side.

Her mouth opened slightly and she lunged forward to grab it but he stepped back evasively, sending her stumbling into the hallway.

She ordered him to give it back.

He responded by asking her if her boyfriend had given it to her.

She snapped back that it wasn't any of his business if her boyfriend had given the necklace to her. She paused, biding her time, and asked him so what if he did.

Ren was about to answer her but Pirika used it as an opportunity to try and recover the jewelry still hanging tauntingly from his hand. He simply put his palm on the top of her head and pushed against her, rendering her attempts at saving it fruitless. She sat back down in her chair, breathless and somewhat enraged, slightly surprising Ren.

He looked carefully at her and asked why it meant so much to her.

Her breaths kept coming ragged and erratic before she hunched over in her chair and covered her eyes. She had broken up with her boyfriend months ago, Pirika blurted out.

Ren merely blinked, nearly dropping the necklace.

Was it so bad that no guy could ever match up to Ren in her eyes? Was it so bad that every kind of guy that she had thought would be a suitable replacement for him never matched up to her expectations? Was it so bad that she had resigned herself to believing that Ren was the only guy she could possibly be happy with, she demanded.

She began tearing up and Ren could see her swallow in deep gulps of air like she did every time she was about to start sobbing in an effort to keep herself from crying. She advised him not to get her wrong. She had tried dating in college. She dated dozens of guys, great guys, good guys, guys that everyone thought would be perfect for her. She wasn't merely jumping to conclusions and closing her mind off to any other boy who wasn't Ren.

It's just that no other person could hope to make her as happy as Ren had, did, and always will, she mumbled into her hands.

She inhaled deeply and excused herself for her angry outburst. She honestly had no idea where it came from. Probably the fact that she had a huge report due for her class tomorrow and she was nowhere close to being done with it. She turned most of her back towards him as if signaling for him to leave.

Ren shook his head, closing the door behind him. That wasn't it, he told her. And she knew that that wasn't the reason why she had reacted so strongly.

She paused and Ren could see that her entire body was shaking. He sat down next to her and gently guided her face with his hand so that she was angled towards him. Pirika took a deep breath, refusing to look him in the eyes.

She had bought it for herself two years ago when Jeanne had showed up to class with it shortly after the engagement. Pirika had been so jealous that she bought a necklace, cheaper of course, similar to it so that deep down she could subconsciously persuade herself that Ren had given it to her in some perverted, twisted line of logic and reasoning. She had been so envious, so blinded that it didn't matter that it had been an arranged marriage. It didn't matter that neither Ren nor Jeanne had wanted it. It didn't even matter now if Ren told her that it didn't mean anything.

That's why she had been so angry. So ashamed more like it, she said with a bitter smile. It reminded her of a time when she let her childish envy control her. It reminded her of how immature she used to be. Pirika bit her lip before continuing. But most of all, it reminded her of the period in her life when she was absolutely alone.

Ren looked at her in confusion. As far as he knew, Pirika had been exceedingly popular in her senior year of high school.

She shook her head. Sure, she was surrounded by people constantly. But not by people she cared about or truly cared for her. She had lost Jeanne who had been pulled out of school shortly after she had gotten engaged. She had lost all her closest friends who had graduated the year prior. And she had lost the only person who could have possibly made her feel better. The only person who made her feel like she was really worth something.

After she had fallen silent for several moments, Ren nudged her with his knee, prodding her to continue. He asked her who that was.

She simply looked at him.

* * *

**thirty-four. (june)**

While Horohoro was out in the fields meeting with some prospective field hands, Ren cornered Pirika in her room. Even though she had seemingly bared her entire soul the month before, she kept to herself even more and didn't talk to Ren at all.

She looked down at the ground and asked if he could kindly leave her room.

He told her that it was his mother who had given Jeanne the necklace, not him.

She blinked a few times and told him that that wasn't the reason why she didn't want to talk to him.

To her surprise, he shrugged and looked as if he were about to comply. However, while turning around to head back to his own room, he casually remarked that her vulnerability wasn't a sign weakness. In fact, it was one of the things he liked best about her.

And then he walked away and disappeared into his own room.

She ran after him and grabbed him by the wrist, asking him what he meant by that. He wordlessly reached towards her throat and grabbed the necklace she still insisted on wearing. She flinched, not knowing what he was going to do next. He, as gently as he could, pulled down until the cheap clasp broke. He discarded it in the garbage can by his door, not taking his eyes off of her all the while.

He forced her to sit on his bed while he removed his jacket and likewise sat next to her. He told her he had figured out why she refused to talk to him or even look at him.

_Finally_.

It was because she was still ashamed. She hated people seeing her vulnerable and Ren was the first one to see her, _really_ her, splattered out in clear vision. She had bared her two biggest injuries to him. Back in January when she was reduced to painful memories of neglect and a broken soul. And just last month when she revealed her overarching fear of being alone.

No one, he reasoned, had ever seen that side of her. And she hated it. She hated it because she thought it made her weak. That her vulnerability was fragility.

But it wasn't. Her vulnerability made her real. More real than anyone had ever been to him in his entire life.

He explained that she thought that keeping all of her hurt and suffering to herself was a mark of strength. Which is why she continued to wear that necklace.

He jutted his thumb in the direction of the garbage can. When really, he said, letting go and sharing your hardships with others was truly what strength was all about. He supposed that that one day, exactly two years ago, hadn't been exactly helpful at all to her. He was the only one who was allowed to vent and unload all of his problems on her. Whatever happened to the Heavy Hearts Brigade, he reminded her, a teasing smirk upon his face.

Ren reached forward and pressed something into her palm. He said that he couldn't possibly damn her for being human.

While he opened the door, Pirika looked at what he had given her. She smiled as she saw it was the first Ainu prayer stick, smaller than other conventional prayer sticks because they hadn't followed the directions properly, that she and her brother had carved together. But somehow, Ren had modified it so that it could be worn around her neck.

He looked at her knowingly. As Pirika exited, she rolled her eyes in an effort to keep them from tearing up and remarked that she was just surprised he hadn't pulled a move on her.

_In your dreams, Ainu Girl._

_

* * *

_**thirty-five. (july)**

Ren received the call while he, Horo, and Pirika were out celebrating the fact that they were _actually_ able to find a manufacturer who was willing to commercially package the marimo.

_Forget the fact that the manufacturer was Asakura Mikihisa._

It was Jeanne with news that the divorce settlement was finalized. Ren could feel the relief washing over him. She told him that Marco had taken the news surprisingly well. Apparently he had been under the impression that that was what Jeanne had wanted. However, when Ren asked her how his parents handled it, she fell silent. He frowned, knowing that they either didn't know yet.

_Unlikely_.

Or they were waiting for him to return so that they could lecture the shit out of him.

_That's it._

She cleared her throat over the other end of the line. She inquired a bit hesitantly if… He could imagine her shaking her head.

He asked her, a bit forcefully at first, what she was going to say.

She knew really rather well that it was very unconventional—

Ren snorted. So far, their entire situation from day one was very unconventional.

_And that's putting it mildly_.

She giggled, the hesitation in her voice immediately dissipating, She asked that maybe once he got things sorted out with Pirika, perhaps they could go and live with herself and Lyserg.

Ren blinked. He reiterated what she said, asking at the end if she meant as in the same house.

That apparently was exactly what she meant. That way, Men could grow up with two pairs of parents that loved him. That way, the divorce, instead of detracting the amount of love that would be present in his life, it would increase it.

He asked once more if that meant he, Pirika, Lyserg, and Jeanne would be living all together in the _same house_.

She nervously laughed and said how many times would she need to repeat herself before she would effectively be able to relay the message. Of course, there would be separate rooms. They would just be two couples living in the same house is all, like roommates in a way—

Ren looked at the ceiling. What did he have to lose? And it did sound kind of nice to some extent. Hell, it sounded way better than what his own childhood had been like.

While Jeanne was in the midst of her rambling explanation, he mindlessly said yes. However, before allowing his former classmate/ex-wife/future roommate to celebrate, he asked what made her so sure that he and Pirika would end up together after all was said and done.

She sighed rather loudly and asked him if he had even touched the book of legends she had given him. And then she hung up.

Pirika smiled at him a little uncertainly from across the table.

_Naturally, the ironing out would have to come first_.

* * *

**thirty-six. (august)**

From the second his plane touched down in Tokyo, Ren had been bracing himself the whole day for his parents to say something. _Any_thing really. But they had remained either blissfully ignorant or had become very good at controlling their emotions. He wanted to minimize the time spent at home. Really, he was just there to collect the majority of his belongings to take back to Hokkaido. Then after living there for the remainder of the month, he'd go to New York.

He had to suppress his happiness, lest his parents see him and immediately become suspicious. His admission to Columbia had come in merely a week ago. Same day that Jeanne had called. It had been a _sign_, Horohoro had declared (drunk, of course). Pirika would be going back to NYU in six weeks, classes would start up in September, he was able to rent out a spare room in Manta's apartment.

He finished up his email to Pirika about his fall semester schedule, his classes, his living arrangements when he heard Jun and Pailong come in through the front door. He went downstairs, certain that his older sister and brother-in-law would love to hear the news since, really, they would be the only supportive family members.

_For once, everything that is happening is right._

However, when he went upstairs and he saw his mother emerge from his room, sinisterly devoid of emotion, he knew that things would start suddenly falling apart.

* * *

**A/N**: aaaaah this one was long. TRIPLE update today (this chapter, a chapter in _Our Story_, and a new story: _Europe Roundabout_). anyways, it would be awesome if you guys reviewed! :)


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